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Building Bridges: Communication Tips for Angry Teens

It may seem like you and your child are worlds apart when it comes to communication. If you’re dealing with an angry teenager, keep reading. You will discover strategies for finding common ground. These strategies will help foster a healthier relationship.

1. Learn your child’s love language:

  • Spend quality time together
  • Offer words of affirmation
  • Give thoughtful gifts
  • Provide acts of service
  • Share physical affection

2. Respect your angry teen’s feelings

  • Want to pull your hair out already? Just hang in there you got this! They can be infuriating. Be aware of your tone of voice when speaking to them. Show validation for their feelings.
  • Be aware of your tone of voice and keep the volume low and calm even when their energy gets loud and out of control

3. Share what makes you feel connected to others:

  • Family gatherings- let your child know how much you value the time they spend with you and the family
  • Engaging conversations- allow time for conversations that are free from scoldings, reminders, and criticism. There is a time and place for that but make a safe place for them to share and they will approach you when they are ready
  • Nature walks- take a walk in the country. Get back to nature and the simple things in life. Spending time together DOES NOT need to cost money.
  • Collaborative projects- find common interests and start a fun project together

4. Be vulnerable:

  • Share your experiences appropriately- depending on the age of your child, share your experiences when you feel like it may help them understand their situation better
  • Listen actively when your child is talking- turn off your phone and look up.. sometimes it’s the smallest things that mean the most especially in today’s world of technology
  • Embrace differences to foster understanding of anger issues- try not to compare yourself with your child (ex. “I would never get that mad about something like that”)

5. Be aware of your nonverbal cues

  • Sometimes as parents we can forget how much we can sound like a nag to an angry teenager. Remember to be aware of your face, your body language and your tone of voice
  • Communication comes in different forms, so don’t feel pressured to fill the space with words constantly

Communication can be words or it can just be flying in the wind next to each other

From the blog

About the author

With a mother who taught alternative learning students and a father who was an internal medicine physician, Sasha Keawe learned the importance of preventive care from an early age and developed a passion for working with kids facing challenges. After graduating from the University of California at Santa Cruz with a major in psychology and legal studies, she returned to Hawaii to attend UH Manoa, where she earned a Master’s degree in Social Work.