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Coping with Anger and the Teenage Ego

We all battle our ego at times, although we may not want to admit it. What relationship does our ego as parents have to do with our child’s anger? The human ego and anger often share a toxic relationship. Understanding the dynamic between the two can help you deal with your angry child.

  1. EGO AS A SOURCE OF ANGER: when a teenager’s self-image is threatened, he may react with anger as a way to protect himself and regain control
  2. EGO DEFENSE: Anger can be used to hide underlying emotions like hurt or fear. For some of us, it may be easier to present ourselves as angry instead of hurt, broken, or confused.
  3. THE CYCLE: the ego feeds the anger and the anger feeds the ego. The only way to get out of this cycle is to recognize it. We need to become more conscious of ourselves and our shortcomings.
  4. THE RELATIONSHIP between the ego and anger: a person’s ego is his sense of self-esteem and importance. If that concept is threatened, anger may result. It is critical that we develop a healthy sense of self in order to combat threats to our ego.
  5. CONTROL ANGER in the ego: Explore your feelings. Be aware of warning signs. Find triggers. Use coping skills. Practice self-care. Use humor to relieve tension.

Progress not perfection

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About the author

With a mother who taught alternative learning students and a father who was an internal medicine physician, Sasha Keawe learned the importance of preventive care from an early age and developed a passion for working with kids facing challenges. After graduating from the University of California at Santa Cruz with a major in psychology and legal studies, she returned to Hawaii to attend UH Manoa, where she earned a Master’s degree in Social Work.